Of Garages and Men

The best laid plans of garages and men often go awry. No, this is not some wierd adaptation of a John Steinbeck novel, but rather a personal prospective of what I call "garage nirvana". Buddha described nirvana as "the highest happiness" as well as "the perfect peace of the state of mind that is free from craving, anger and other afflictive states". I guess that about sums up the feeling I get when I stare into a treasure trove filled garage for the first time. I don't know about you, but I find garages full of automobilia pretty fascinating. Lets take a deeper look at this garage fixation that I have.

The way I see it, garages come in three flavors:

1) The Empty Garage.
This is the garage that is always kept spotless. It's plain, flat white walls stand out like beacons in the night. There has never been a vehicle behind it's doors. The polished cement floors have never seen a drop of anything petroleum based. It's vacant space will usually be home to a spare refrigerator and may even temporarly house a folding, portable game table, but mostly it remains empty. The empty garage is not to be confused with one that has been carpeted and has a TV, couch and games in it, for this is no longer considered a garage, it's a redneck living room.

2) The Faux Garage.
This is the garage that from all external appearances appears like a normal garage. Upon closer inspection, it is discovered that it's really a museum in disguise. The floor will usually be checkered tile or epoxy with a speckled pattern. The inside is cleaner then most hospitals and there is enough lighting to perform surgery. It's considerable interior acreage will be occupied by either a late model Corvette and/or an over restored muscle car that was an impulse purchase at a Barrett-Jackson auction. For all intensive purposes, the vehicles never move, hence the polished oil drip pans resting below them. A tool box may be present but it will be brand new, polished to a shine, and full of tools that will never be used.

3) The Used Garage.
This is the garage that is thoroughly used, both in storage capacity and utility. The owner will know every square inch of it, and there may even be pathways cut through all of it's "storage". There may or may not be room for a vehicle, depending on the owners needs or the quality of paint on said vehicle. It will house lots of cool parts and even cooler memories. Most items will be shelved and labeled. Rodents will fear entering this labyrinth for the simple reason that they might be categorizied and put away. You may even feel more at home in this garage then in your room. Some have even chosen to install a commode just to avoid having to use the one in the house. There will usually be an old refrigerator covered in vintage performance stickers strictly used for soda or beer. The used garage is not to be confused with one that is chuck loaded full of junk, for this is no longer considered a garage, it is simply a room of crap or just an oversized trash dumpster owned by a pack rat.


The used garage is my favorite garage because it is the one that says the most about the owner. It is also the one that is the most fascinating. I remember growing up and venturing out in my dad's garage. The casual observer would have just seen a garage full of useless stuff, but I knew better. As I got to know that garage better and better, I discovered all the treasures that it held. Whatever I needed at the time, it seemed that I could find it in there. Nut? Bolt? Porcelain insulator? It was in there. I found everything from flat head parts to radio tubes. It was this very garage that served as my impetus for selling on eBay.

My Uncles garage was actually his auto body shop and outbuildings that I use to wander through. I spent a few summers there learning how to do body work. Back then it seemed like every week I would buy another car and almost everyone of them needed some form of body repair. He always told me he didn't like working on relative's cars, but he would always show me what to do and how to do it. I'll never forget all the stuff he had crammed in that shop of his. These are some of the items I remember:

A very early GM crate motor - 283 with factory dual quads, literally in a crate.

A GMC blower - I think it was a 6-71 on a vintage intake manifold.

A complete '40 Ford Coupe - It was stuffed in an outbuilding and was supposed to be the recipient of the 283 crate motor.

A NOS '57 Chevy front clip - This was completely assembled with chrome and everything.

A late 60's Barracuda - A complete car stuffed in one of the corners of the shop. I remember it was black with flames. The story was he was holding it for a guy who was in prison...

A really old Ford tow truck (which my cousin managed to get), various hood ornaments hanging around, and tons of other cool stuff.


My new garage is currently full of a lot of stuff. I recently moved into it (6 months ago) and I am working on putting everything away. (so I'm slow, sue me) I have a lot of automobilia, posters, metal signs, die cast models, etc, etc. The list seems endless, but once it's all in place, the joint should look pretty cool. I still have to figure out where I am going to put my parking meter. Yes, I have one of those. It's a good thing my project car does not have a nice paint job on it, because it probably won't see the inside of this garage until summer. Park a car in the garage? What a concept! I can't wait.

Garages full of cool stuff is nothing new, but few folks have ventured into this foray of the automobile world. I thought it would be a great idea to do a series of articles on garages and all the neat stuff that some of them contain. I even wrote a new online magazine (an e-zine) that was looking for contributors and ideas, and told them of my idea. Nada, nothing, ziltch, zippo. I guess they didn't like my pitch. Oh well, nothing ventured nothing gained. I guess I'll just have to settle for blogging about it here. So if there are any fellow garage lovers out there I hope that this article has peaked your "garagosity" or maybe provided a little "garage nirvana" for you.

If You Build It, They Will Come

Ok, so I'm not Kevin Costner and this ain't no Field of Dreams, but I guess you could call it my garage of dreams. Yes, I built a new garage. You see, I was sort of getting "evicted" from my old three car garage. The eviction was being served by teenagers, and exercise equipment, and cats, and... well, I think you get the picture. Technically I guess you could say I have a five car garage, but right now I can't even get one car in either of them, as I am still in the process of "moving".

All of this was done pre-recession, when I had abundant side jobs. I'm just now getting around to writing about it, now that all the side jobs are gone... along with all the money! What's that old saying? Oh yeah, "when you have the money, you don't have the time, and when you have the time, you don't have the money!" So I had the money but not the time, so I had someone build me a garage. That's a stretch for me, Mr. "Do It Yourself", but I satisified my inner Tim Taylor by doing the electrical, lights and interior walls. Can you say Tool Time?

Here is the basic frame work being erected.

.

Now they are starting on the roof. When you do this job you cannot be afraid of heights.

.

With the roof almost finished, it was time to start on the sides.

.

Now it is starting to resemble a garage.

.

.

Getting closer now. I can almost see a car parked in there.

.

.

Just about finished. All that is left is the garage door.

.

.

.

.

.

Voila! Instant Garage. Now I just have to finish the wiring, lights, and interior! Fun, fun, fun!

Stay tuned as I tackle the interior and try and squeeze all my stuff into it. From the looks of things I think I am going to have to thin out some of my junk. Hey, I gotta have room for my beer signs and my Keep On Truckin poster!

Wax on... Wax Off

I now have a new appreciation for what the Karate Kid's Daniel LaRusso went through when Mr. Miyagi was teaching him the clockwise/counter-clockwise hand motions, which he referred to as "Wax on, wax off". Was the paint really that bad on Number 1? Aye Danielson.

Let's face it, Number 1's paint is 36 years old! The original factory paint has seen better days. I am not a big fan of primered cars, unless the final paint job is close behind. While the Olds might actually look better in primer, I wanted to see what I could do with the original paint. A lot has to be said for OEM paint with patina.

Here is what the original paint looked like after being neglected for years. Any more rust and the car would look orange!

This is a nice "before and after" shot after a lot of color sanding.

.

.

.

.

I ended up wet sanding the entire car. It really cleaned up the old paint. If I were to buff the paint out it would still have an amazing shine, but I was satisfied with it just being one color.

.

.

.

.

.

I cleaned up the original hood on Number 1 even though I have a fiberglass ram air one for it. It will probably be awhile before I bolt on the ram air hood and I wanted the car to look as good as possible. That may be a little difficult to achieve because I have also started to remove all the chrome and emblems. I am going to slowly start the body work on Number 1. Remember, I said slowly. It doesn't need anything too major, at least as far as I can see... Stay tuned to see if I have opened up Pandora's box.

It Lives! Olds Cutlass Raised From the Dead

So I got my '72 Cutlass, Number 1, running great after quite a bit of work. Funny thing about cars that sit for long periods of time - they tend to fall apart. This is the case with Number one's interior, the front seat to be exact. After pulling off my custom seat covers (T-shirts) the seat looked as though a gang of squirrels had rumbled on it.

See, what did I tell you. Amazingly, the back seat only has one tear in it. Maybe my squirrel theory is not that far off...

.

.

This is beyond covering with a seat cover so I had to come up with a temporary solution. The seat frame is in excellent condition as well as the springs, plus it is a split bench with the not-so-common fold down armrest in the middle, so I definitely want to keep it for the car. While I can't afford to get it re-covered right now, it can't stay in the car either. I came up with the idea of putting in some bucket seats on a temporary basis, but got sticker shock when I started pricing '72 era bucket seats. The prices were outragous! What the heck, are the seat frames made of gold or something? I was almost set to buy a pair of those racing type seats you see in all the imports (yea, I know) when I came across a deal too good to pass up.

I found a set of bucket seats advertised on craigslist for a paltry $40 dollars. The ad said they were out of a Mazda RX7 and in very good condition. Hmmm, sounded like it might be worth a look. When I got there I discovered they were non-electric, leather covered, and felt good to sit in. Sold! Even though these came with the tracks, the Japanese must assemble their cars vertically, because the bolt holes in the tracks were all facing horizontal. I'll show them! That's what good old American angle iron is made for, even though the piece I used was probably made in China.

.

.

.

.

This is what I had to do to bolt the Mazda seats

in. Yeah, I know their burgandy, but they are also temporary. They bolted right to the original holes with my custom angle brackets, if you can believe that!

.

.

.

.

.

Here is the burgandy bun rester all bolted in. One down, one more to go. These seats should fill in nicely until the original split bench seat is ready to re-install.

.

.

.

.

.

After my bargin basement seats are installed and years of dust vacuumed up, the interior should be driver quality. Up next, it will be time to address the exterior. I'm not a big fan of primer, and I love patina, so stay tuned to see what I come up with to make Number 1 look a little more presentable and less like a rusting oil tanker.

Christmas and Music but not Christmas Music

As I write this on Christmas eve, it is very cold and rainy outside. The only way it could be more Christmas-like would be if it started snowing. I've really been falling behind in my blogging duties, as this is the first post I have managed to write in months. I have been doing minor tweeks here and there to the page, as some of you may have noticed.

The biggest change has been the addition of a radio of sorts. You really need to cruise down to the bottom of the page and check out the Garage Radio. The Garage Radio is powered by playlist.com, which is completely free. My music tastes are pretty diverse, but the main theme is eighties rock and roll. (Are you rockin with Dokken?) When was the last time you heard Convoy? It's on there along with a bunch of others. Hit the play button and crank up your speakers!

I've got a few more presents to wrap, so I had better stop playing on the computer. I am planning to post a lot more blogs in the new year so stay tuned for some interesting stuff. I hope all my readers have a very happy holiday and prosperous New Year.

Day of the Dead - Deadly Resurrection

Sounds like a low budget horror flick, doesn't it? In reality, it is a real B-movie that was made in the 90's. Do you know what is really scary? I was actually in the movie! My first and only acting gig. My old Chevelle was also in the movie. I think it actually did a better job of acting then me! While that movie was total fiction, I recently discovered that getting a derelict old car road worthy is a lot like resurrecting the dead, it's impossible.

I decided to take on the impossible and put my '72 Cutlass, Number 1, back on the road. Now keep in mind that Number 1 has been out of commission for at least three years. I use to start it up every other week, but that lasted as long as a bucket of KFC chicken. So I decided to do a visual inspection to assess the mess that Number 1 had become. Both front tires were now flat and most of the trans fluid had leaked out. The engine hadn't been started in at least a year, and it seemed to be leaking from anything that contained fluid. The front rotors were rusted badly and were wafer thin, it needed new front tires, the trans needed to be serviced, engine oil had to be changed, front end lubed, gas tank hoses replaced, carburetor rebuilt, possible tune up, wiper blades, and let's not forget washing years of dirt and grime away. I was afraid to even look in the interior, suffice to say it needed help before I parked the car...

First things first, I had to see if the engine would still run, as this would give me some kind of indication of how bad things were. I decided to charge the battery and then see if old Number 1 would start up. Of course I did the basic fluids check to make sure I didn't damage the engine. To my utter amazement the engine fired right up. All I did was prime the carb with some gas! A true testament to the durability of Oldsmobile engines and synthetic oil. Hard to believe? I caught the whole thing on video. Check it out:

Pardon the camera shake, I'm kind of new at this. Come to think of it, it kind of reminds me of the horror flick I was in! Now that I know that Number 1 still runs pretty good, it's time to dig in. Gee, I can't wait...

Here it is all raised up and ready for me to start working. Hey, I don't have a lift yet so I use what works. Besides, I have to be able to get all of my girth under this beast.

I figured I would start from the bottom up, so I started with the front brakes, then did the trans. After that I replaced the fuel tank hoses, changed the oil and lubed the front end. To wrap up the underside, I did a complete visual inspection just in case I missed something. All I needed now was a couple of front tires so I could lower Number 1 back down

Ok, the new tires are mounted and Number 1 is back down to earth. Now it's time to dive in under the hood. The carb needs to be rebuilt, spark plugs changed, and I need to inspect the cap, rotor and wires.

When I was removing the carb I remembered that the passenger side valve cover had been leaking before I parked the car, and that leak had gotten considerably worse. I had done the drivers side a few years before so it was nice and dry. Oh well, I'll just add it to the list of repairs!

After removing brackets heavy enough to be on a Sherman Tank, I was able to get to the valve cover to remove it. Your looking at a valve train with over 300 thousand miles on it! The benefits of running synthetic oil are clearly visible.

.

.

.

When I was done rebuilding the carb (the subject of a future blog) and replacing the valve cover gasket, it was time to replace the spark plugs and then fire her up. Now we know that it ran before I started all this work, so it should run great now, right?

Wrong! I couldn't get the engine to idle. It kept hunting for an idle and running rough. This picture is after I had remounted the carb after removing it to double check the float level and check for vacuum leaks. My experience told me it was a vacuum leak because the trans was not shifting correctly. Plus, I replaced the vacuum modulator when I serviced the trans so that ruled it out. After checking a few things with my vacuum pump, I discovered the leak in the distributor vacuum advance. One more thing that now needs to be replaced!

I am beginning to sense a pattern here, a parts replacing pattern! As I write this Number 1 is running good and is streetable. It may not look the best right now but I will be addressing that very soon. Next up is installing some bucket seats and cleaning up the interior. Stay tuned as Number 1 begins it's slow transformation from side yard fodder to a clean looking street machine.

Too Much Corn Bread is Bad For You

Note to self: Never buy a three-in-the-tree equipped vehicle again! Yes, you guessed it, I got burnt out shifting that beast of a trans in my International. Add to that a 35+ year old leaf spring equipped suspension and you have one heck of a miserable ride. These trucks are not made for comfort, they are made to work!

So I put it up for sale, not quite sure if there would be much interest in the old corn binder. To my suprise, it didn't stay for sale that long. Now someone else can have all that fun shifting that trans! I understand that the truck will be spending it's twilight years south of the border, in Mexico. If you happen to be down there and see it, say "Hola" for me. Now I'm off to buy mas cervesa!

Can you guess what time it is?